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Alachia Queen

Alachia Queen is not a Tomatometer-approved publication. Reviews from this publication only count toward the Tomatometer® when written by the following Tomatometer-approved critic(s): Alachia Queen.

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Rating Title | Year Author Quote
D+
Disney's Snow White (2025) Alachia Queen A misguided and hollow attempt at modernizing the classic tale. Despite the film’s claims of being progressive, the story still heavily relies on male characters to save Snow White, undermining its own message of empowerment.
Posted Mar 24, 2025  Edit critic review
C-
Captain America: Brave New World (2025) Alachia Queen Yet another installment in the MEH - C- U where Marvel has been consistently giving audience mediocre action films and gaslighting us to believe these are super hero stories. Sam never gets a chance to shine in this sludge of a messy drama.
Posted Feb 26, 2025  Edit critic review
D-
Kraven the Hunter (2024) Alachia Queen What could have been a solid action film the likes of Rambo and The Punisher is instead an overstuffed sludge of half baked characters that dilute the potency of the Kraven story.
Posted Dec 19, 2024  Edit critic review
C+
The Substance (2024) Alachia Queen While the film's narrative might feel a bit shallow on the surface, its chilling undertones about the monstrous consequences of superficial fixations delivers a truly horrific experience.
Posted Dec 11, 2024  Edit critic review
B-
Wicked (2024) Alachia Queen Wicked dazzles with stunning visuals and soaring music, powered by two stellar leads, but the sluggish pacing, lackluster performances by the rest of the cast and unnecessary two-part split leave the rest feeling like a missed opportunity.
Posted Dec 05, 2024  Edit critic review
D
Gladiator II (2024) Alachia Queen Where the original was a masterpiece of grit, vengeance, and sweeping drama, this sequel feels like it’s been cobbled together from a last minute brainstorm of, "What if we just... added sharks?"
Posted Dec 02, 2024  Edit critic review
C-
Poor Things (2023) Alachia Queen I never thought I'd want to see an R-rated Disney Princess film by Yorgos Lanthimos and after seeing this, I still don't.
Posted Dec 15, 2023  Edit critic review
D+
Past Lives (2023) Alachia Queen Is this a film about longing, regret, or an analysis of miscommunication? It's hard to tell as the delivery is so dry and flat.
Posted Dec 15, 2023  Edit critic review
C-
The Killer (2023) Alachia Queen This film is a good demonstration that not everything between comic panels is worth showing.
Posted Dec 08, 2023  Edit critic review
C+
May December (2023) Alachia Queen Slyly scripted, this film uncovers a horrifying peak at the mind a child abuser and the harrowingly sad consequences for the victim.
Posted Dec 05, 2023  Edit critic review
F-
Silent Night (2023) Alachia Queen The 90s called and want their movie back. The expiration date on these types of films has long expired.
Posted Dec 02, 2023  Edit critic review
B-
Godzilla Minus One (2023) Alachia Queen This film is a monster masterpiece delivering a perfect combination of tension and trauma. It is a near perfect film only faltering in its overuse of the melodrama.
Posted Dec 02, 2023  Edit critic review
B
Cat Person (2023) Alachia Queen A precise dissection of a relationship as its being lived in the heads of these two very flawed and naive characters.
Posted Dec 01, 2023  Edit critic review
D-
Napoleon (2023) Alachia Queen This film about Napoleon goes just about as you'd expect it to being directed by Ridley Scott, a British man. It's hard to fathom how something so ornately decorated, gorgeously costumed, and meticulously shot could be so insanely dull and dreadful.
Posted Nov 23, 2023  Edit critic review
C-
Wish (2023) Alachia Queen It was wishful thinking that Disney thought it could tackle themes about challenging established order into a film with singing squirrels and talking bunnies.
Posted Nov 21, 2023  Edit critic review
D
The Hunger Games: The Ballad of Songbirds & Snakes (2023) Alachia Queen Despite Tom Blyth's best efforts, this film can't deliver a compelling villain origin story. This is yet another unneeded, underwhelming, and uninteresting prequel trying desperately to keep a franchise monetizable.
Posted Nov 19, 2023  Edit critic review
A+
Saltburn (2023) Alachia Queen The most sublime and rewarding subversion of the mythical straight boy unicorn trope. Emerald Fennel delivers a film whose opulence borders on fantasy and whose excess borders on the absurd in all the most rewarding ways.
Posted Nov 19, 2023  Edit critic review
B
Trolls Band Together (2023) Alachia Queen A tale that explores the themes of family bonds that is packaged in a candy glitter rainbow music video. I'm not sure what kid isn't going to enjoy this with a bonus of adults who love NSYNC.
Posted Nov 14, 2023  Edit critic review
D-
The Marvels (2023) Alachia Queen Instead of teen wannabe-Avenger joining a big girl movie, The Marvels instead has Captain Marvel and Monica Rambeau turn into tween dribble. This movie turns one of its most powerful heroes into a literal Disney Princess.
Posted Nov 11, 2023  Edit critic review
D
Priscilla (2023) Alachia Queen Aside from Jacob Elordi's performance as Elvis, nothing about this story is captivating. It's the watered down, Vogue editorial version of a very tragic and dark story about reality of the Presley marriage.
Posted Nov 06, 2023  Edit critic review
D
Killers of the Flower Moon (2023) Alachia Queen Scorsese did the Osage dirty by painting them as ignorant victims; the movie plays out like a true crime docuseries but with only the live re-enactments. It lacks the personal insights of the Osage and those trying to seek justice.
Posted Oct 20, 2023  Edit critic review
D
Totally Killer (2023) Alachia Queen It's True Crime Podcast meets Back to the Future dialed down to dumb.
Posted Oct 11, 2023  Edit critic review
C-
The Creator (2023) Alachia Queen The film delivers on VFX and acting but falls short on developing a story beyond the basic trope of a man on the run with gifted child. Don't let the sci-fi AI hook bait you.
Posted Sep 29, 2023  Edit critic review
D-
Bottoms (2023) Alachia Queen This promised to be a raunchy teen sex comedy but is ultimately an unfunny film about two teens trying to navigate the ups and downs of friendship.
Posted Sep 07, 2023  Edit critic review
C+
The Equalizer 3 (2023) Alachia Queen A brutally efficient addition to the Equalizer franchise. The villains are a bit overly generic and action scenes are not as articulate but the heart of the story, the beautiful Italian setting, and the delivery of Denzel's Robert McCall make up for it.
Posted Sep 01, 2023  Edit critic review
C
Gran Turismo: Based on a True Story (2023) Alachia Queen A serviceable underdog story with sprinkles of likeability, training montages, and things that go zoom. David Harbour carries this one through the finish line.
Posted Aug 25, 2023  Edit critic review
D
Blue Beetle (2023) Alachia Queen This is a silly action adventure family comedy that feels like it belongs more on a kid network rather than the first super hero in the new DCEU lineup.
Posted Aug 18, 2023  Edit critic review
D-
The Last Voyage of the Demeter (2023) Alachia Queen A completely generic color by number horror film that does such a disservice to the Dracula brand.
Posted Aug 11, 2023  Edit critic review
D+
Barbie (2023) Alachia Queen This is what happens when you don't do a satire correctly. Barbie is what happens when capitalism dictates messages about girlhood, feminism, and gender inequality.
Posted Aug 06, 2023  Edit critic review
B+
Oppenheimer (2023) Alachia Queen A nearly perfect three hour stretch of the world of political bureaucracy played out with the story of Oppenheimer. The film only falls short in what it promised to deliver from the trailers.
Posted Jul 23, 2023  Edit critic review
C-
The Flash (2023) Alachia Queen A watered down slap stick version The Flashpoint Paradox storyline.
Posted Jul 11, 2023  Edit critic review
F-
Crimes of the Future (2022) Alachia Queen DUMB. Boring. a manifesto of the apathy of an unfeeling generation. How could a story about body mutilation be this boring.. that's the real crime.
Posted Jul 22, 2022  Edit critic review
C
Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness (2022) Alachia Queen We unfortunately don't live in a universe where Marvel's Phase 4 is cohesive but at least it's a decent theme park ride.
Posted Jul 22, 2022  Edit critic review
C-
X (2022) Alachia Queen X, first hour of the film is an homage to 70s psycho-sexual-film making and the last 45 minutes is a psycho-biddy/slasher. It's interesting to say the least but at no point was this a scary film.
Posted May 30, 2022  Edit critic review
B-
Dune (2021) Alachia Queen While Dune 2021 is a very well presented and styled gourmet sci-fi dish, for a platter stuffed with "spice", it unfortunately lacks a ton of Dune flavor.
Posted May 20, 2022  Edit critic review
D+
The Northman (2022) Alachia Queen A historical epic without the epic, a revenge plot with all the agency of revenge removed. What is left? A two and a half hour plodding viking re-enactment.
Posted May 20, 2022  Edit critic review
F
Dune (1984) Alachia Queen Dune 1984 is a muddling, dull feudal drama dressed up in an elaborate sci-fi costume. The film tries desperately to elevate the basic messianic archetype with excess futurism in hopes to disguise its banal core.
Posted May 10, 2022  Edit critic review
A
The Endless (2017) Alachia Queen This independent film is a unique balance between Lovecraftian world building, the intimacies of family dynamics, and the horrors of the personal limitations.
Posted May 06, 2022  Edit critic review
B
The Batman (2022) Alachia Queen A fairly good mock up for a Batman film templated as a graphic novel. Its dark and seedy mood is new backdrop for the Batman films but in terms of showcasing what this cape crusader has to offer in story telling, there is nothing new here.
Posted Apr 26, 2022  Edit critic review
A
The Power of the Dog (2021) Alachia Queen Jane Campion turns Thomas Savage's semi-autobiographical novel into pure film poetry. The film is more essay than script and is an amazing thesis on the limitations of power as defined by the masculine vocabulary.
Posted Apr 15, 2022  Edit critic review
B
Joker (2019) Alachia Queen The Joker is a powerful idea about accountability in our society but it's clear the script wasn't there. Luckily they were able to make it work with improv and interpretive dance.
Posted Apr 12, 2022  Edit critic review
F
Eternals (2021) Alachia Queen Chloé Zhao tries to shove a sappy essay on the virtues of mankind and the value of loving humanity despite its flaws into a lackluster superhero journey of ten vapid characters who spend the entire film disproving her theory.
Posted Apr 12, 2022  Edit critic review
F
The Matrix Resurrections (2021) Alachia Queen Rename this film to: Why Lana didn't want make a sequel but didn't want anyone else to do it for fear the original trans allegory would be completely erased from the legacy of the Matrix franchise and it turned into a cis male bullet time p0rno.
Posted Apr 04, 2022  Edit critic review
D
Spider-Man: No Way Home (2021) Alachia Queen A silly plot with very little character growth for Peter Parker that douses the film in fan service in hopes that we don't notice.
Posted Mar 25, 2022  Edit critic review
D-
Ad Astra (2019) Alachia Queen The film tries to tackle the dark side of human ambition but fails short of landing any impact.
Posted Sep 27, 2019  Edit critic review
D-
Rambo: Last Blood (2019) Alachia Queen The film started off as a promising hard R violent rip off of Taken but then took a sharp into dog poop. This is NOT the Rambo we all loved.
Posted Sep 24, 2019  Edit critic review
C-
It: Chapter Two (2019) Alachia Queen Basically a three hour version of the first film but the only change is the characters are adults and less charming. Not really worth a sequel.
Posted Sep 12, 2019  Edit critic review
B-
Once Upon a Time... In Hollywood (2019) Alachia Queen The movie is a meh-kay story on the surface but if you look deeper it's also a pretty compelling manifesto by Quentin Tarantino on New Hollywood.
Posted Jul 31, 2019  Edit critic review
B+
Spider-Man: Far From Home (2019) Alachia Queen The film takes what it needs from the MCU and then uses the rest as punchlines. It works! This was a great summer comedy.
Posted Jul 24, 2019  Edit critic review
C-
Avengers: Endgame (2019) Alachia Queen The entire tone of the film felt like a eulogy to the MCU and relied too heavily on weepy eyed nostalgia and fan service moments to carry it to the end.
Posted Jun 13, 2019  Edit critic review
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