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Hollywood Bitchslap

Hollywood Bitchslap is not a Tomatometer-approved publication. Reviews from this publication only count toward the Tomatometer® when written by the following Tomatometer-approved critic(s): Dan Lybarger, David Cornelius, Erik Childress, Oz, Scott Weinberg.

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Rating Title | Year Author Quote
Make-Out With Violence (2008) Erik Childress This is a far more complex and thoughtful examination of the transition to adulthood and how we deal with death rather than just another zombie flick.
Posted Aug 12, 2009  Edit critic review
1/5
Max Havoc: Curse of the Dragon (2004) David Cornelius You see, some folks apparently lack the savvy to avoid bankrolling a movie with the words 'Max Havoc,' 'Albert Pyun,' and 'kickboxing champion' related to them.
Posted Jan 12, 2007  Edit critic review
1/5
National Lampoon's Pledge This! (2006) David Cornelius So yeah. It's a National Lampoon/Paris Hilton movie that nobody wanted to release. And yet it manages to even be far worse than that.
Posted Dec 27, 2006  Edit critic review
1/5
American Pie Presents: The Naked Mile (2006) David Cornelius Crude, sure. Vulgar, no doubt. But funny? Not at all.
Posted Dec 20, 2006  Edit critic review
4/5
SPL (2005) David Cornelius The film's signature pieces are its fight scenes, but Yip works best in the quieter moments.
Posted Oct 24, 2006  Edit critic review
4/5
Clive Barker's The Plague (2006) David Cornelius This is the sort of horror film that hooks you from frame one with both smarts and frights.
Posted Sep 05, 2006  Edit critic review
2/5
Snakes on a Train (2006) David Cornelius The Mallachi Brothers truly impress. Too bad they got stuck with a screenplay that can't hold itself above water and a studio stuck in one heck of a lame rut.
Posted Aug 14, 2006  Edit critic review
2/5
Bloodsuckers (2005) David Cornelius What begins as a big pile of dumb fun winds up a weary mess.
Posted Jun 24, 2006  Edit critic review
3/5
Dungeons & Dragons 2: The Elemental Might (2005) David Cornelius A low-key adventure packed with the kind of fantasy that's endlessly ridiculous yet loveable in a Harryhausen kind of way.
Posted Jun 20, 2006  Edit critic review
1/5
Naked in the 21st Century: A Journey Through Naturism (2004) David Cornelius Naked is bad beyond human comprehension, one of the poorest excuses for a legitimate feature film that I have ever had the misfortune to endure.
Posted Mar 01, 2006  Edit critic review
3/5
Santa's Slay (2005) David Cornelius It's cheap, it's goofy, but it's surprisingly smart and endlessly entertaining.
Posted Dec 30, 2005  Edit critic review
3/5
The God Who Wasn't There (2005) David Cornelius Its arguments are too thin as seen here on their own... but it will get people thinking, talking, arguing.
Posted Dec 11, 2005  Edit critic review
1/5
War of the Planets (2005) David Cornelius This is 82 minutes of utter lousiness, delivered right to your television set.
Posted Nov 14, 2005  Edit critic review
3/5
My Left Eye Sees Ghosts (2002) David Cornelius If nothing else, hey, at least we get to watch Sammi Cheng for a while.
Posted Oct 11, 2005  Edit critic review
1/5
See Arnold Run (2005) David Cornelius What would you expect from a telepic written by the guy who gave us Category 6: Day of Destruction, starring the guy from Son of the Beach?
Posted Sep 20, 2005  Edit critic review
4/5
Gonggongui Jeog (Public Enemy) (Public's Enemy) (2002) David Cornelius Even in its darkest corners, the movie maintains its sense of fun, crashing us from idea to idea with a wink in its eye and a smirk on its face.
Posted Sep 03, 2005  Edit critic review
2/5
Glass Trap (2005) David Cornelius It's one of those movies that looks like it was a gas to make. To watch, though? Not so much.
Posted Aug 02, 2005  Edit critic review
3/5
Parts: The Clonus Horror (1979) David Cornelius Features all the good - and all the bad - of 70s sci-fi cheese.
Posted Jul 25, 2005  Edit critic review
1/5
Miss Castaway and the Island Girls (2004) David Cornelius It is one of the most excruciating cinematic experiences of my life.
Posted Jul 25, 2005  Edit critic review
3/5
Letter to the President (2005) David Cornelius What's not to love about a movie that features both Larry Flynt making fun of Bill O'Reilly and a professor of humanities quoting Biggie?
Posted Jun 28, 2005  Edit critic review
2/5
Immortal (Ad Vitam) (2004) David Cornelius Immortal is as incoherent a story as you'll ever find. But it sure is pretty.
Posted Jun 18, 2005  Edit critic review
1/5
The Amazing Spider-Man (1977) David Cornelius One of the boob tube's biggest calamities, ranking somewhere in between "AfterMASH" and Craig Kilborn.
Posted Jun 18, 2005  Edit critic review
5/5
Infection (2004) David Cornelius It's a masterwork of horror cinema, smartly constructed, effortlessly effective in delivering the goods.
Posted May 17, 2005  Edit critic review
3/5
Black Cadillac (2003) David Cornelius It doesn't measure up to its influences, to be sure, but on its own, it stands as a nifty, doable chase picture.
Posted May 17, 2005  Edit critic review
2/5
Cat and Mouse (2003) David Cornelius Cat and Mouse is a movie that doesn't know what it wants to be, so it tries to be everything - and fails at too much of it.
Posted Apr 29, 2005  Edit critic review
2/5
Balto III: Wings of Change (2004) David Cornelius Wings of Change is one of those video efforts that will fade away all too quickly.
Posted Feb 02, 2005  Edit critic review
4/5
Six Strong Guys (2004) David Cornelius These are characters you want to embrace, moments that will make you beam.
Posted Jan 24, 2005  Edit critic review
4/5
Full Metal Jacket (1987) Dan Lybarger Not Kubrick's best, but often powerful, particularly for R. Lee Ermey's performance.
Posted Jan 19, 2005  Edit critic review
2/5
Raw Force (1981) Dan Lybarger It's cheap; it's tawdry; it's vulgar; and it's almost watchable in a cheesy sort of way.
Posted Jan 19, 2005  Edit critic review
4/5
Stealing Beauty (1996) Dan Lybarger Gorgeous Tuscan scenery and a breakthrough performance by Liv Tyler help make this sudsy flick entertaining.
Posted Jan 19, 2005  Edit critic review
5/5
To Catch a Thief (1955) Dan Lybarger Vintage Hitchcock.
Posted Dec 31, 2004  Edit critic review
5/5
The Longest Day (1962) David Cornelius It is, and will most likely always remain, the definitve D-Day picture.
Posted Dec 07, 2004  Edit critic review
1/5
Dracula 3000 (2004) David Cornelius This movie's one Ice-T or Dean Cain short of being a direct-to-video all-star parade.
Posted Dec 04, 2004  Edit critic review
4/5
Persons of Interest (2004) Dan Lybarger Watching Persons of Interest makes a viewer realize how fragile the rights that make this country great can be.
Posted Sep 20, 2004  Edit critic review
3/5
Criminal (2004) Dan Lybarger Criminal can be praised and damned for its fidelity to the Argentinean masterpiece Nine Queens.
Posted Sep 19, 2004  Edit critic review
3/5
Justice League - Star Crossed: The Movie (2003) David Cornelius If you find yourself disappointed in recent live action superhero stuff, give this one a spin.
Posted Jul 28, 2004  Edit critic review
0/5
Barely Brooke (2002) Oz There's nothing that demonstrates so fully how meritless the world of modeling is than a full hour devoted to a photo shoot.
Posted May 26, 2004  Edit critic review
4/5
Full Metal Jacket (1987) Oz
Posted May 26, 2004  Edit critic review
4/5
High Fidelity: The Guarneri String Quartet (1989) Oz
Posted May 26, 2004  Edit critic review
3.5/5
(undefined) Oz Sure, it's not polished, and yeah, some of it falls flat, but if stars were won for effort, talent and prospects for the future, everyone here would be reveling in the five's.
Posted Apr 03, 2004  Edit critic review
3/5
Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom (1984) Oz
Posted Mar 08, 2004  Edit critic review
2/5
Liar (1997) Oz
Posted Mar 08, 2004  Edit critic review
3/5
Groundhog Day (1993) Oz
Posted Mar 08, 2004  Edit critic review
2/5
The Bonfire of the Vanities (1990) Oz
Posted Mar 08, 2004  Edit critic review
5/5
Los Angeles Plays Itself (2003) Oz A superbly constructed history lesson, and perhaps the realization of a life spent gearing up for such a task, this should be a documentary work preserved for the ages.
Posted Mar 04, 2004  Edit critic review
1.5/5
Let's Love Hong Kong (2002) Oz The 1st Rule of Film Festival is don't go to see Asian low-budget digi-video art films. The 2nd Rule of Film Festival? Don't go to see Asian low-budget digi-video art films.
Posted Mar 04, 2004  Edit critic review
4.5/5
Ford Transit (2003) Oz Ford Transit really makes you think just how far a man has to be pushed before he decides to strap some C4 to his back and take the easy way out. Superlative filmmaking.
Posted Mar 04, 2004  Edit critic review
3.5/5
Bastards (1999) Oz Listening to the older crowd after the film had ended, they couldn't have missed the point any more if the soundtrack to Patch Adams had been played over the top of the film.
Posted Mar 04, 2004  Edit critic review
1/5
Cannibal Rollerbabes (1997) Oz I love a good cannibal movie. But this is not a good cannibal movie. Cannibal Rollerbabes is as bad as the title suggests. Heck, there's not even much rollerblading in it.
Posted Mar 04, 2004  Edit critic review
4.5/5
Chudail Story (2016) Oz You made a great movie, folks, and even if all it ever gets is a video release in Greece, or a 3AM showing on Lifetime, they can't take that away from you.
Posted Mar 04, 2004  Edit critic review
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