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JoBlo

Tomatometer-approved critic
Biography:

Born in Amsterdam, Holland, the son of an immigrant Armenian father and a Swedish buxom mother, Berge spent the first eight years of his life trying to find a way out of his soulless existence on our planet. His discovery of television quickly dissolved that dilemma and shot his mind into the nothingness that still remains fairly prominent today. After losing his parents in Switzerland one weekend, Berge dedicated his life to "finding himself" in film and "getting laid" before the age of 21. Successful at neither, Berge swam across the Atlantic Ocean and spent his "salad days" working the graveyard shift at the local Bob’s Big Boy.After an unsuccessful robbery attempt on himself, Berge realized that his days of bumming smokes off others were dwindling (And he didn’t even smoke!). He quickly shaved himself down, washed his *** and watched "Reservoir Dogs" about a hundred times before investing his life to the medium of film. And with his quick stint in the gay porn industry behind him, Berge re-dedicated himself to writing movie screenplays, of which he wrote four, completing his MBA and becoming an online movie critic for the masses. Having worked in the fast-food and porn industries, Berge felt like he had an affinity with the common folk, the lunch box people, the people who stayed up late and watched an awful lot of Tony Robbins commercials. Thankfully, Berge was able to convert his sad drinking problem into a much happier drinking problem and eventually secure himself a part-time gig as movie critic for a local Canadian radio station. He also started up JoBlo’s Movie Emporium: A haven for all movie orphans like himself. Nowadays, Berge is happily married with three kids (The kids aren’t really his and he’s actually single) and spends most of this time surfing the Net in search of his missing parents. His long-term goal is to become a film producer, while his short-term motto remains the same as it has always been: "It takes a big man to cry, but it takes a bigger man to laugh at that man." Thank you, Mr. Jack Handy.

Favorites:

Some of my favourite movies include: Goodfellas, Star Wars, When Harry met Sally, Fight Club, Swingers, Reservoir Dogs, Edward Scissorhands, True Romance, Dark City, Annie Hall, Lost Highway, Airplane 1 & 2, Raising Arizona, The Crow, Seven, Trainspotting.

Location:

Montreal, Canada

Official Website:

http://www.joblo.com

Reviews

Movies TV Shows
Feast (2006) 56% 8/10 EDIT “You dig on gore, creatures, jokes and being entertained? Feast on Feast baby!” – JoBlo's Movie Network Oct 19, 2018 Full Review Shutter (2004) 61% 8/10 EDIT “Innovative, deeper than the norm and visually striking.” – JoBlo's Movie Network Oct 18, 2018 Full Review My Bloody Valentine (2009) 62% 8/10 EDIT “This is how you do a slasher RIGHT!” – JoBlo's Movie Network Oct 17, 2018 Full Review Panic (2000) 91% 6/10 EDIT “” – JoBlo's Movie Network Apr 29, 2011 Full Review In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale (2007) 4% EDIT “Don't waste your time.” – JoBlo's Movie Network Apr 15, 2011 Full Review The Revenant (2009) 56% 9/10 EDIT “The Revenant is flat-out fantastic horror-comedy that is safely mentioned in the same breath as masterpieces such as Re-Animator.” – JoBlo's Movie Network Apr 15, 2011 Full Review Descent (2007) 35% 7/10 EDIT “” – JoBlo's Movie Network Apr 4, 2011 Full Review Burn After Reading (2008) 78% 7/10 EDIT “All in all though, fun times. I look forward to revisiting it again in the future, like most Coen bros movies.” – JoBlo's Movie Network Nov 21, 2008 Full Review The Strangers (2008) 50% 7/10 EDIT “An extremely effective claustrophobic horror picture that starts slow but ultimately provides us with plenty of suspense all the way through to its very dark ending.” – JoBlo's Movie Network Nov 21, 2008 Full Review Hancock (2008) 42% 5/10 EDIT “What an odd movie!” – JoBlo's Movie Network Nov 21, 2008 Full Review Speed Racer (2008) 42% 7/10 EDIT “A flashy, colorful film that packs a ton o' fun into its fast-paced frame.” – JoBlo's Movie Network Oct 18, 2008 Full Review Wanted (2008) 72% 8/10 EDIT “Kudos to graphic novelists Mark Millar and J.G. Jones for coming up with this fun and electric idea in the first place and here's hoping that they can create an ongoing cool environment in which these groovy characters can excel.” – JoBlo's Movie Network Oct 18, 2008 Full Review Baby Mama (2008) 63% 5/10 EDIT “I've been majorly disappointed by romantic comedies over the past year or so.” – JoBlo's Movie Network Oct 18, 2008 Full Review You Don't Mess With the Zohan (2008) 37% 7/10 EDIT “I cracked up during a lot of this movie.” – JoBlo's Movie Network Oct 18, 2008 Full Review The Love Guru (2008) 13% 4/10 EDIT “Allow me to say this very clearly: this is not a good movie.” – JoBlo's Movie Network Oct 18, 2008 Full Review The Dark Knight (2008) 94% 9/10 EDIT “The Dark Knight delivered on many fronts.” – JoBlo's Movie Network Sep 12, 2008 Full Review Iron Man (2008) 94% 7/10 EDIT “Iron Man is the best superhero film to come along since Batman Begins, and is one hell of a way to start off summer of 2008.” – JoBlo's Movie Network Sep 5, 2008 Full Review Kung Fu Panda (2008) 87% 6/10 EDIT “A fun movie that manages to entertain pretty much the whole way through.” – JoBlo's Movie Network Sep 5, 2008 Full Review Definitely, Maybe (2008) 71% 5/10 EDIT “Not entirely successful, but worth a look.” – JoBlo's Movie Network Jul 18, 2008 Full Review Forgetting Sarah Marshall (2008) 84% 8/10 EDIT “Fun stuff.” – JoBlo's Movie Network Jul 18, 2008 Full Review Fool's Gold (2008) 11% 4/10 EDIT “The film's final half hour does feature some decent action though, but by that point, you don't really care.” – JoBlo's Movie Network Jul 11, 2008 Full Review The Ruins (2008) 52% 7/10 EDIT “I enjoyed most of the picture, particularly its ending, which much like the rest of the movie, remained pretty dark and pessimistic.” – JoBlo's Movie Network Jul 11, 2008 Full Review Transsiberian (2008) 91% 7/10 EDIT “A unique picture that left me feeling -- for the first time in a very long time -- like I'd actually been in another place, another world...so very different from my own.” – JoBlo's Movie Network Jul 11, 2008 Full Review In Bruges (2008) 84% 6/10 EDIT “The two lead actors, Brendan Gleeson and Colin Farrell, were great in their respective roles.” – JoBlo's Movie Network Jul 11, 2008 Full Review Street Kings (2008) 37% 8/10 EDIT “Granted, it doesn't revolutionize the cop genre, but it definitely does a solid job of entertaining for its runtime, and as a movie-watcher (and lover)...ain't much else that I can ask for than that.” – JoBlo's Movie Network Jun 6, 2008 Full Review
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