Rotten Tomatoes
Cancel Movies Tv shows RT App News Showtimes
Critics list

Ian Simmons

Tomatometer-approved critic
Biography:

In 2009, Ian created "Kicking the Seat: Movie Reviews from the Last Guy Anyone Asks", which includes written reviews, podcasts, and a YouTube channel. He lives in Skokie, IL with his wife, kids, and a ridiculous amount of movies on shelves.

Reviews

Movies TV Shows
Rebel Without a Cause (1955) 91% EDIT “It's a really bold movie. But, beyond messaging and symbolism, it works as a really big dramatic piece.” – Kicking the Seat Oct 23, 2025 Full Review From Beyond (1986) 74% EDIT “The film feels like the passion project of a horror nerd who was given a modest budget and no strings. ” – Kicking the Seat Oct 20, 2025 Full Review Re-Animator (1985) 88% EDIT “Re-Animator is a perfect horror-comedy.” – Kicking the Seat Oct 15, 2025 Full Review Pools (2025) 78% 2/5 EDIT “Don’t dive into Pools looking for originality, personality, or (heaven forbid) profundity. You’ll crack your head on dry cement.” – Kicking the Seat Aug 25, 2025 Full Review Weapons (2025) 93% 1/5 EDIT “Weapons is what you’d get if Neon released a third-rate mash-up of It and Children of the Corn, as adapted by James Gunn.” – Kicking the Seat Aug 8, 2025 Full Review The Life of Chuck (2024) 80% 5/5 EDIT “This is an utterly surprising and utterly delightful look at a master craftsman’s Third Act Twist, a reminder of why he’s been revered not just as spinner of spooky yarns but as a deft, humanist storyteller for half a century.” – Kicking the Seat Jun 2, 2025 Full Review Star Wars: Episode II - Attack of the Clones (2002) 62% EDIT “The filmmakers may have broken the bank by furthering digital special effects, but, in terms of scale, this entry feels downright cheap.” – Kicking the Seat Apr 21, 2025 Full Review Ash (2025) 71% 2/5 EDIT “This movie is Exhibit A as to why we need to stop funding (with our cash and attention) blatantly unoriginal time-sucks.” – Kicking the Seat Mar 29, 2025 Full Review I Like Movies (2022) 98% 5/5 EDIT “Levack carefully plants the seeds of her film’s serious turn throughout, so that when "I Like Movies" steers hard into its coming-of-age rough patch, the tonal shift feels natural.” – Kicking the Seat Feb 25, 2025 Full Review Scrap (2022) 98% 5/5 EDIT “Scrap overflows with the nuisances, distractions, and blessings in disguise that sometimes make capital-A Avoidance an alluring alternative to confronting life.” – Kicking the Seat Dec 20, 2024 Full Review The Apprentice (2024) 82% 2.5/5 EDIT “While it’s true that the film comes off as blatant, low-key election interference, it also offers a challenge to those who prefer their politics served up bite-sized and compartmentalized.” – Kicking the Seat Nov 4, 2024 Full Review Eight Eyes (2023) 2/5 EDIT “When a movie turns on its protagonists so early in the game, it’s really difficult to unglaze the eyes—but exceedingly easy for the brain to play “Spot the Reference” as a way of coping for the remaining seventy minutes.” – Kicking the Seat Sep 26, 2024 Full Review Thank You 5 (2020) 4.5/5 EDIT “Whether you love live theater or didn’t know it still existed outside of Broadway, Thank You 5 will make you laugh, think, and demand to know what’s next for its supremely talented cast and crew.” – Kicking the Seat Jul 13, 2024 Full Review The Exorcism (2024) 26% 3.5/5 EDIT “If you cut out the “surprise” introduction of a third-party antagonist in this scene, these few minutes of screen time are highlights in an already remarkable film.” – Kicking the Seat Jun 21, 2024 Full Review Hard Miles (2023) 90% EDIT “It is not a hard movie to love. ” – Kicking the Seat May 30, 2024 Full Review Lady Ballers (2023) 40% 2/5 EDIT “Once again, a great opportunity for working through difficult societal issues in an entertaining movie is hampered by catchphrases, non-arguments, and the easiest jokes one could think of when considering said issues.” – Kicking the Seat Dec 20, 2023 Full Review Silent Night (2023) 60% 3.5/5 EDIT “John Woo’s latest film turns a very sharp corner, pushing Christmas movies down a trash-strewn alley of busted street lamps and hopelessness from which they might never return.” – Kicking the Seat Dec 6, 2023 Full Review Only in Theaters (2022) 89% 3.5 / 4 EDIT “This isn’t just “a movie about the movie business”; it’s about how a calling gets into the blood and trickles down, generation to generation.” – Kicking the Seat Sep 11, 2023 Full Review Mad Heidi (2022) 90% 4.5/5 EDIT “For those looking for more than processed meat on the bones of their over-the-top entertainment, Mad Heidi may represent yet another new sub-genre: Thoughtsploitation.” – Kicking the Seat Jun 20, 2023 Full Review What Is a Woman? (2022) 75% 3.5 / 5 EDIT “Yes, viewers will need to contend with Matt Walsh’s agenda, but he does a solid job of presenting various angles from which to discuss the myriad debates rocking our culture right now.” – Kicking the Seat Jun 12, 2023 Full Review The Secret Society for Slow Romance (2022) 3/5 EDIT “I thoroughly enjoyed the film’s chill vibe, even as I struggled with my long-established expectations of what I look for in relationship stories.” – Kicking the Seat Mar 18, 2023 Full Review Jesus Revolution (2023) 54% 4/5 EDIT “If there is to be an artistic gateway to a new era of nationwide empathy and tolerance, one could do far worse than Jesus Revolution. ” – Kicking the Seat Feb 26, 2023 Full Review Alice, Darling (2022) 84% 1/5 EDIT “Take out all the red herrings in this 89-minute navel gaze, and you’re left with a 90s teen soap subplot featuring wholly unlikeable characters from stem to stern.” – Kicking the Seat Feb 10, 2023 Full Review Ukrainians in Exile (2022) 91% 2/5 EDIT “As is, the short plays like the “Before” segment of a much longer film about war, during which we’d see the tragic carnage described here but not evidenced.” – Kicking the Seat Jan 20, 2023 Full Review Don't Worry Darling (2022) 38% 1/5 EDIT “Don’t Worry Darling may be one of the worst movies of the year, but it’s also the product of what I believe to be this century’s most brilliant cinematic hoodwink.” – Kicking the Seat Sep 25, 2022 Full Review
No Reviews Yet
Load More