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Kicking the Seat

Kicking the Seat is not a Tomatometer-approved publication. Reviews from this publication only count toward the Tomatometer® when written by the following Tomatometer-approved critic(s): Ian Simmons.

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Rating Title | Year Author Quote
Rebel Without a Cause (1955) Ian Simmons It's a really bold movie. But, beyond messaging and symbolism, it works as a really big dramatic piece.
Posted Oct 23, 2025  Edit critic review
From Beyond (1986) Ian Simmons The film feels like the passion project of a horror nerd who was given a modest budget and no strings.
Posted Oct 20, 2025  Edit critic review
Re-Animator (1985) Ian Simmons Re-Animator is a perfect horror-comedy.
Posted Oct 15, 2025  Edit critic review
2/5
Pools (2025) Ian Simmons Don’t dive into Pools looking for originality, personality, or (heaven forbid) profundity. You’ll crack your head on dry cement.
Posted Aug 25, 2025  Edit critic review
1/5
Weapons (2025) Ian Simmons Weapons is what you’d get if Neon released a third-rate mash-up of It and Children of the Corn, as adapted by James Gunn.
Posted Aug 08, 2025  Edit critic review
5/5
The Life of Chuck (2024) Ian Simmons This is an utterly surprising and utterly delightful look at a master craftsman’s Third Act Twist, a reminder of why he’s been revered not just as spinner of spooky yarns but as a deft, humanist storyteller for half a century.
Posted Jun 02, 2025  Edit critic review
Star Wars: Episode II - Attack of the Clones (2002) Ian Simmons The filmmakers may have broken the bank by furthering digital special effects, but, in terms of scale, this entry feels downright cheap.
Posted Apr 21, 2025  Edit critic review
2/5
Ash (2025) Ian Simmons This movie is Exhibit A as to why we need to stop funding (with our cash and attention) blatantly unoriginal time-sucks.
Posted Mar 29, 2025  Edit critic review
5/5
I Like Movies (2022) Ian Simmons Levack carefully plants the seeds of her film’s serious turn throughout, so that when "I Like Movies" steers hard into its coming-of-age rough patch, the tonal shift feels natural.
Posted Feb 25, 2025  Edit critic review
5/5
Scrap (2022) Ian Simmons Scrap overflows with the nuisances, distractions, and blessings in disguise that sometimes make capital-A Avoidance an alluring alternative to confronting life.
Posted Dec 20, 2024  Edit critic review
2.5/5
The Apprentice (2024) Ian Simmons While it’s true that the film comes off as blatant, low-key election interference, it also offers a challenge to those who prefer their politics served up bite-sized and compartmentalized.
Posted Nov 04, 2024  Edit critic review
2/5
Eight Eyes (2023) Ian Simmons When a movie turns on its protagonists so early in the game, it’s really difficult to unglaze the eyes—but exceedingly easy for the brain to play “Spot the Reference” as a way of coping for the remaining seventy minutes.
Posted Sep 26, 2024  Edit critic review
4.5/5
Thank You 5 (2020) Ian Simmons Whether you love live theater or didn’t know it still existed outside of Broadway, Thank You 5 will make you laugh, think, and demand to know what’s next for its supremely talented cast and crew.
Posted Jul 13, 2024  Edit critic review
3.5/5
The Exorcism (2024) Ian Simmons If you cut out the “surprise” introduction of a third-party antagonist in this scene, these few minutes of screen time are highlights in an already remarkable film.
Posted Jun 21, 2024  Edit critic review
Hard Miles (2023) Ian Simmons It is not a hard movie to love.
Posted May 30, 2024  Edit critic review
2/5
Lady Ballers (2023) Ian Simmons Once again, a great opportunity for working through difficult societal issues in an entertaining movie is hampered by catchphrases, non-arguments, and the easiest jokes one could think of when considering said issues.
Posted Dec 20, 2023  Edit critic review
3.5/5
Silent Night (2023) Ian Simmons John Woo’s latest film turns a very sharp corner, pushing Christmas movies down a trash-strewn alley of busted street lamps and hopelessness from which they might never return.
Posted Dec 06, 2023  Edit critic review
3.5 / 4
Only in Theaters (2022) Ian Simmons This isn’t just “a movie about the movie business”; it’s about how a calling gets into the blood and trickles down, generation to generation.
Posted Sep 11, 2023  Edit critic review
4.5/5
Mad Heidi (2022) Ian Simmons For those looking for more than processed meat on the bones of their over-the-top entertainment, Mad Heidi may represent yet another new sub-genre: Thoughtsploitation.
Posted Jun 20, 2023  Edit critic review
3.5 / 5
What Is a Woman? (2022) Ian Simmons Yes, viewers will need to contend with Matt Walsh’s agenda, but he does a solid job of presenting various angles from which to discuss the myriad debates rocking our culture right now.
Posted Jun 12, 2023  Edit critic review
3/5
The Secret Society for Slow Romance (2022) Ian Simmons I thoroughly enjoyed the film’s chill vibe, even as I struggled with my long-established expectations of what I look for in relationship stories.
Posted Mar 18, 2023  Edit critic review
4/5
Jesus Revolution (2023) Ian Simmons If there is to be an artistic gateway to a new era of nationwide empathy and tolerance, one could do far worse than Jesus Revolution.
Posted Feb 26, 2023  Edit critic review
1/5
Alice, Darling (2022) Ian Simmons Take out all the red herrings in this 89-minute navel gaze, and you’re left with a 90s teen soap subplot featuring wholly unlikeable characters from stem to stern.
Posted Feb 10, 2023  Edit critic review
2/5
Ukrainians in Exile (2022) Ian Simmons As is, the short plays like the “Before” segment of a much longer film about war, during which we’d see the tragic carnage described here but not evidenced.
Posted Jan 20, 2023  Edit critic review
1/5
Don't Worry Darling (2022) Ian Simmons Don’t Worry Darling may be one of the worst movies of the year, but it’s also the product of what I believe to be this century’s most brilliant cinematic hoodwink.
Posted Sep 25, 2022  Edit critic review
5/5
Relative (2022) Ian Simmons At a glance, it’s easy to lump in Relative with the dozens (hundreds? thousands?) of weekend-reunion dramas. However, Smith’s allergy to the subgenre’s conventions elevates his movie in deceptively profound ways.
Posted Jun 18, 2022  Edit critic review
3/5
Morbius (2022) Ian Simmons The further I get from it, the more its flaws seem crippling, but I admire the spirit that Espinosa and company brought to the project, which, Im convinced, was nearly destroyed by a meddlesome and cowardly studio.
Posted Apr 06, 2022  Edit critic review
2/5
The Batman (2022) Ian Simmons It's the kind of fat, clumsy imposter that a real Batman movie would tie up and leave at the scene of a crime in order to limit the damage it might do to itself and others.
Posted Mar 10, 2022  Edit critic review
4/5
Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2022) Ian Simmons Just because a film is born of cynicism and greed, doesnt mean it cant wind up as something noteworthy, even by accident.
Posted Mar 05, 2022  Edit critic review
5/5
American Underdog (2021) Ian Simmons One of the year's most beautiful, rousing, and inspiring films.
Posted Dec 19, 2021  Edit critic review
4/5
Money, Fascism, and Some Sort of Acid (2020) Ian Simmons If Ambros is still making movies fifty years from now, I imagine his wild editing and bonkers color experiments will be insufficient in commenting on the sideshow dimension we are sure to inhabit.
Posted Nov 27, 2021  Edit critic review
1/5
Ghostbusters: Afterlife (2021) Ian Simmons For a movie that took decades to put together, Afterlife plays like the equally tired The House with A Clock in Its Walls with Ghostbusters branding sloppily applied to a shoot-the-first-draft sensibility.
Posted Nov 21, 2021  Edit critic review
4/5
Eternals (2021) Ian Simmons The long and short of it is that, yes, Eternals is a colossal bore...for those lacking patience, heart, and imagination.
Posted Nov 09, 2021  Edit critic review
3.5/5
18 1/2 (2021) Ian Simmons 18 1/2 is a rousing bit of speculative historical fiction marked by imagination, intrigue, and an eye for conspiratorial layers that, like Watergate's twisted legacy, may never be fully unraveled.
Posted Oct 22, 2021  Edit critic review
4/5
The Jesus Music (2021) Ian Simmons Co-directors Jon and Andrew Erwin have not only created one of the year's best and most enlightening films, I'm convinced they altered some of the neural pathways in my brain.
Posted Oct 01, 2021  Edit critic review
1/5
Prisoners of the Ghostland (2021) Ian Simmons I've grown tired of these tacky endeavors anchored by a bored, post-ironic actor.
Posted Sep 19, 2021  Edit critic review
5/5
Mondo Hollywoodland (2021) Ian Simmons Imagine John Dies at the End re-imagined by Gaspar Noé and co-written by Bret Easton Ellis and Christopher Guest, and you'll be in the neighborhood of Mondo Hollywoodland.
Posted Sep 09, 2021  Edit critic review
2/5
Anne at 13,000 ft (2019) Ian Simmons The film's stubborn devotion to subjectivity isn't limited to the lack of context, history, or even an assessment of Anne's mental state (Is she suffering from an undiagnosed illness, or is she simply an unrepentant vortex of selfishness?).
Posted Sep 05, 2021  Edit critic review
3/5
Demonic (2021) Ian Simmons Constrained by time, budget, and pandemic logistics, [Blomkamp] left allegory at the door and turned in a movie that works better as a coming-to-terms-with-trauma movie than as a jump-scare jubilee.
Posted Aug 21, 2021  Edit critic review
2/5
Jungle Cruise (2021) Ian Simmons In fifty years, Indiana Jones and Jack Sparrow will still be icons of imagination. Jungle Cruise will be a theme park tie-in that few can find and fewer will care to.
Posted Jul 30, 2021  Edit critic review
2/5
Old (2021) Ian Simmons Between the execrable Glass and this unforgivably fumbled dud, my guess is he'll be breaking rocks at Lionsgate before the next COVID variant strikes.
Posted Jul 24, 2021  Edit critic review
4/5
Black Widow (2021) Ian Simmons Black Widow absolutely adheres to the spirit of Stan Lee's original vision for Marvel Comics, wherein relatable characters use incredible abilities to grapple with the human condition and issues of the day.
Posted Jul 14, 2021  Edit critic review
4/5
The Boss Baby: Family Business (2021) Ian Simmons It's nice to know there's at least one movie out there ready to tell the Misanthropic Mouse House who's boss.
Posted Jul 02, 2021  Edit critic review
2/5
Cruella (2021) Ian Simmons If this movie speaks to you, please don't speak to me.
Posted May 29, 2021  Edit critic review
3/5
Endangered Species (2021) Ian Simmons It's a solid, intermittently invigorating cautionary tale with more on its mind than pretty pictures and environmentalist bumper sticker messaging.
Posted May 28, 2021  Edit critic review
5/5
Drunk Bus (2020) Ian Simmons There's a wonderful sense at the end of Drunk Bus that there are a dozen more stories that could begin after the credits roll.
Posted May 22, 2021  Edit critic review
4/5
Sound of Violence (2021) Ian Simmons Noyer balances his dark emotional roller coaster with ungodly wicked humor.
Posted May 21, 2021  Edit critic review
1/5
Army Of The Dead (2021) Ian Simmons In fairness, there is plenty that Snyder didn't lift directly from James Cameron, and that material sticks out for an entirely different reason: uniform stupidity.
Posted May 20, 2021  Edit critic review
1/5
Spiral: From the Book of Saw (2021) Ian Simmons Rock is, as I understand it, a huge fan of the Saw movies. That's great. Tom Green might be the world's biggest Godfather geek; I still wouldn't let him near a fourth installment.
Posted May 15, 2021  Edit critic review
4/5
15 Things You Didn't Know About Bigfoot (Number 1 Will Blow Your Mind!) (2019) Ian Simmons The effect is a reinvigoration of the genre's language with a wild dose of humor, horror, and brain-bending social commentary.
Posted May 13, 2021  Edit critic review
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